| | Ah Zangar. How long it's been since I've written an entry with real substance.
I'm having a bit of trouble falling asleep. I think I'm just really nervous to embark on my evil Monday. It's going to be terrible. I have to shoot in the studios at 8AM, then pray I finish by 1030AM, then go to class, then go to work until 6PM, then go to class again.
I laid down in bed at 12AM.. and I couldn't fall asleep, so I decided to
take a look at my old xanga entries, even further back til my old
account of "tifatifa". It's hilarious how immature I used to be. The
way I used to type, speak and act-gah.. I am so embarassed!! Thank God no
one has access to those entries but myself.
I cant believe I'm 21.
It's starting to dawn on me.. full-fledged-style. It feels like I was just 15 like a few months ago, dreaming about movie stars, fantasizing about the 'dream job'. But here I am now, more than halfway finished with my college education and obviously nervous about where I'm going to be in the next 5 years. Honestly, I have to say, I'm pretty amazed at myself for how much I've grown, learned and gained understanding in the experiences that I've been through. Transferring colleges was one of the biggest and most difficult decisions of my life, but I feel as though it was the best one.
It's true what they say about how the longer you live, the more wise you become. It's also pretty damn scary. I feel like, the older you get, the more hope you lose. I see it in myself. I used to be SO full of hope, dreams and determination.. but.. I seem to be losing a lot of it now. There is no doubt, i still have utter faith in myself to become a successful photographer- however it just seems so much more daunting now, and the stark reality of what my life will be like in the near future is beginning to surface. This doesnt mean I'm giving up.
So hey, where will you be in 5 years?
On a happier note, I was accepted into the Kanazawa Institute of Tech (Sister school of RIT in Japan). I'll be studying abroad this Summer (free ride!) in Japan! :) Jun4 - July18th !!
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| | Posted 1/14/2008 2:10 AM - 90 Views - 6 eProps - 4 comments
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